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do u ever hear something so dumb ur eyes physically roll out of ur head
I’m sitting in the parking lot at McDonalds and some country bumpkin guy leans out the window of his ugly ass truck and yells “Hey girl you’re looking hot can I tap that?”
And I accidentally yelled “sorry you have to have at least ten teeth to ride this ride”
And the GUY IN YHE CAR BESIDE ME IS LIKE CRYING
WHY DID I SAY THAT
Oh my gufking god
Imagine Hannibal Lecter eating Robin Thicke.
Hannibal starts brandishing a knife and Thicke’s like “noooo D:” and then Hannibal quietly mutters
"i know you want it"
juicy cuts of
"Holy mother of Mary Shelley!"
"What the Tolkien?"
"By Victor Hugo’s spare underpants!"
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph Conrad!"
"Pardon my Molière, but I don’t give a Faulkner."
If this gets 3 million notes I’ll make a dress out of these
And wear it to the nearest major city
SIGNAL BOOST AND IF IT GETS TO FOUR MILLION YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE A TIARA THAT MATCHES.
YOU’RE GONNA REGRET PUTTING THIS ON TUMBLR
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